Spinning

What to do with a life that is continuously spinning...

No matter how the dice lands it seems that life keeps on going even if for a brief moment you just need to breathe. To have the spinning stop so that the circular movement can reach you in a straight line.

Nothing can be simple and faith is grown in chaos. I am not sure what part of life I am spinning in now...it just won't stop and let me take it in. I want to enjoy the moments that make smile...I want this life to make sense.

I want my heart to find the desires that it longs to embrace. I want to be happy...genuinely happy. I am tired and weary and at times wonder if this is all worth it...waiting, wishing, and hoping....for the life that I wish was before me. The life that seems to have fallen into the path of many others. I don't understand the reasons for my path...I wish clarity would scream and capture my heart. I wish the shutter slide moments would catch up to lens of my eye. I wish that time would stop and in that moment I would feel a rush of wind and sense beauty in a way that I have never experienced it before. I wish the life of spinning would create a magical sensation that would allow my spirit to fly. I wish that the movement of this spinning cyclone would transition me into another world.

At times I think that life could have collapsed and things would still keep spinning. I need a moment where I can stand still and feel the wind on my face...instead of always at my back. I need a break...something that clearly states...the spinning has a fate...