Oh the Life

So often in life, I don't do what I desire. I find myself not grasping opportunities that I possibly should have, that leave me questioning the reasons for living through the circumstances. In the last few years, life has brought me some hardship that has been remembered by: regret, loss, pain, and frustration. Admidst all of the hardship: it left me seeking for Contentment and Peace in this life. Wanting to live with Passion and know that there is a greater purpose for all that I face.

In the course of growing up, I have had many stages of happiness and love for life...but truthfully in recent years I have found myself perplexed with tradgedy beyond my comprehension. At times my hope failed and faith wasn't a question of my heart. I sometimes found myself in an utter oblivion of hopelessness. It was in those moments that I knew the struggles were worth living through. To overcome...to embrace the struggles as apart of life and find that meaning was bound to surrender and that I would gain such empowerment for walking the dark and trecherous road.

College (all 5 years) taught me how to embrace this life. The moments for today. Though it has been a hard road, and one that could have been a lot less traveled, I know that I have gained some sort of empowerment through each year that brought such enduring hardships. Going to two schools, led me through an array of different colors on my palet. It forced me to gain sense of these moments and mature through the trudges. The first two definitely empowered me to walk the last three years and gave me hope to endure. The last three years shaped much of who I am today.

Contentment and Peace were something that were vastly searched for in each experience. I kept thinking that if I have contentment and peace through the fire, that one day I would have contentment and peace through the happiness. I don't know why God chose me to walk such an enduring road...but He did. Through those times of struggles my hope in God had to surrender, and obedience was key. I know that one day I will have contentment and peace through happiness in this life...and I find hope through knowing that He will see me through.

This poem by Charlotte Bronte has touched my soul in recent years...My prayer is that it touches yours as well.

Charlotte Bronte:

LIFE, believe, is not a dream
So dark as sages say;
Oft a little morning rain
Foretells a pleasant day.
Sometimes there are clouds of gloom,
But these are transient all;
If the shower will make the roses bloom,
O why lament its fall ?

Rapidly, merrily,
Life's sunny hours flit by,
Gratefully, cheerily,
Enjoy them as they fly !

What though Death at times steps in
And calls our Best away ?
What though sorrow seems to win,
O'er hope, a heavy sway ?
Yet hope again elastic springs,
Unconquered, though she fell;
Still buoyant are her golden wings,
Still strong to bear us well.
Manfully, fearlessly,
The day of trial bear,
For gloriously, victoriously,
Can courage quell despair !