Intangible Gaps

At times a leap of faith is a perplexing step of obedience, to apart of the unknown world...and then again this same leap of faith may encompass the same perplexing step of obedience to embrace and accept more of who you are in the unknown world.

Both leaps of faith teach us to move out of the comfortable situations in life. Simply to embrace the uncomfortable. They teach us to grasp hold and have a winged prayer. In those times where obedience is key, especially when leaving the comfortable side of life, there is a bigger picture that we can't see.

Leaps of Faith are the intangible gaps in this life. They are the jumps we take that we don't have the landing in sight. Through hope and faith we have to accept the uncomfortable and somehow find away to have courage to take the steps of obedience. The leaps are embracing the obedience of what we can't see, by releasing ourselves to jump with our eyes wide open and capturing every moment of the fall.

When we sense that we have fallen...the hand gently comes along...and shows that you are soaring. You never fell... instead you to took flight...you never jumped....you took off.

So the intangible gap that one can not see, begins with a take off...not a jump...so that instead of falling...one is actually flying.

It's breathe taking and capturing how a winged prayer and obedience can cause a person to bridge the intangible gaps in this life. Leaps of faith can be scary...and a bit awkward...but once you take off...the journey of the unknown begins to shine through, and allows you to embrace who you are in the unknown world.

Brokenness

Brokenness is found in every human soul. It takes a lifetime to repair a shattered heart and remove the pieces of a story left untold.

Why is there so much brokenness in this life? Some days life is truly a treasure and others it's a broken piece of my heart. Over the years, personal tragedy has affected my life and left me in a broken state of mind. I tend to blame my melancholic personality for this mentality...however, these tragic losses are very pertinent to my soul.

In times of Brokenness, I question God. I don't understand sometimes why tragedy hits people and why we walk such sadness in this life. I know that God said, It would never be easy...and I tend to believe that for Christians it is a harder journey, to allow our courage and faith to shine before men.

Brokenness, is all around the world...in every country, in every home, in every life. I am a believer that when brokenness is heavy on the heart of a person...that their is ONE who can take that pain and bear it. I have truly experienced this. Simply stated: losing a life of a friend or a loved one, can cause utter brokenness. It can cause one to question life, existence, and yes, even God.

When tragedy strikes...one tries to deal with the ramifications of what has happened. One tries to overcome and move on with life. The truth is...you don't ever get over death...you get over the Brokenness that your heart encounters through the tragic experience.

Death: I tend rely on the thoughts that Victor Frankl shares about suffering...."If there is meaning in life at all, then there must be meaning in suffering."

Brokenness is apart of suffering. To have meaning in suffering...the shattered heart must find a way to recover and refine the broken pieces for the heart to shine through the human soul.

Avenue of Existence

There are avenues in life that cause us to question our personal human existence. These avenues consist of gratifications that are highly sought after through pop culture and other ventures that present themselves to society.

Lately, I have been contemplating the real avenues that affect who we are as people. What is it that truly makes a person exist? We all are seeking some instant gratification in life...to present ourselves to the world as if we are somebody. I don't think that instant gratifications in life make us who we are. It is the journey that precedes moments of where our existence is known. In saying this...we all walk journey's...some a little harder than others....and some that we wish we never would have walked. However, our existence is sharpened and shaped through those journeys. Every journey has specific avenues that create and mold us into who we are. It is what we present to others in the slightest moments that allows us to exist.

Existence...is the simple smile that lets you know you did the right thing. It's the kind words that are said when you least expect them. It's the gentle touch that says, I'll catch when you fall. It's the moment where time stands still and allows you to embrace who you are, when you least expect it. It is found in the simple gift of giving yourself to others. This may be the profoundist existence of all. If you grasp life and give of yourself, selflessly, your existence seems to shine...not only before man, but before God.

Breathe

The world uncovers my soul , allowing me to question who I am, and what place I hold in this life. More often, than not, I relinquish myself to the notion that God created me for a greater purpose than I can possibly see. He carries me through all the trials and tribulations that I encounter.

Truth be known...that I am a miracle on this earth. I should have never lived through the first nine years of my life, but by the grace and mercy of our loving God he gave me every breath to breathe...literally.

Many know my story, but I thought I would share it again. When I entered this world I was grayish/blue in color. The doctors and nurses were at my side and ran many tests on me to figure out what the actual problem was. At the time I was rushed to another hospital to run more tests . Finally, doctors concluded that I wasn't born with a pulmonary valve. This is the valve that pumps the blood to the rest of the body. Instead I had a hole in my heart that did the work for this missing valve. I walked nine years on this earth until I had a major open heart surgery. My family and the doctors had faith that I would survive until an adult valve could be placed within my heart. This was a huge decision and one that clearly shows the miraculous gift of life. I don't think that I should be here...and each day I face truly is a gift from above.

I have physical scar from the surgery that stays with me everyday. When I look at this scar...I see God's provision and care written all over my life. The very breath of life that He gives...I breathed.

The deeper blessing in life is just simply allowing Him to breathe for us, when we can't breathe for ourselves.

Inevitable Pressure

As one becomes older, life inevitably becomes harder. Life happens and the pressures of adulthood weigh us down. I have fully taken a plunge in recent months and fully support myself. This is the second time in my life that I have taken on all the bills to survive in this life. The first time was a about five years ago. After two years of struggling, I concluded that school may need to be an accomplished goal before embarking myself into the complicatedness of life.

So, it's almost been a year since I graduated. I have taken on myself and the life I wanted to lead; embracing the life of somewhat of different caliber. Now I am not a materialistic person...but I do like nice, expensive things...but everything in moderation, right? So I found myself saying no to some things that I never would have questioned buying some years ago. It's frustrating and almost depressing really, that I am currently saving money for a future that I can't even see.

However, the life that becomes harder allows our wisdom to gain further knowledge and helps adulthood make a little more since. After all, I think that true adulthood, is a very sacrificial part of life. Especially parenthood. There is an invetable pressure of adulthood profoundly found through the singleness of one, who is trying to give back to a future that is totally hidden.

Enduring Fear

There comes a time in life that one has to face a giant or a fear. Sometimes we have to lay down every bit of our pride and just simply stand and say who we are. It takes gumption to release yourself to the lights of the unknown and to be at peace with the fact of knowing one did the right thing. For me, doing the right thing is always perplexing. I tend to be skeptical of life and love. Ironically, I don't really have reason to feel this way. I was raised in a very loving home and given answers to life's questions in the simplest forms. When did life become so complicated, leaving me with many questions that surround me today?

I remember my freshman year of school. I entered a Unviersity that I thought would carry me through for four years. I would walk that stage and have a degree with vocal performance as my major. That was clearly not the road that I was supposed to take. For there was a different path for me. A path that if I knew now what I didn't know then...wouldn't have been traveled. However, with God's strength, faith, and hope I muddled my way through and accepted the fact that He had different plans than I did.

Thoughts ran through my head...of would I ever get it right? See the light at the end of the tunnel and know that I survived because of His unshakable love for me. Through the hardship and fire He spoke gently to me...carrying me through. Giving me strength to walk the path that was presented to me.

Many dangers and fears came with this road, causing me to hesitate and question truth's that I believed. I found myself on the waves of rushing tides that wanted to pull me under. I fought a battle that Satan clearly wanted me to fail. However, when you face the giant in this world that enables every inch of your being to cling to the Father, you somehow feel love through the rain. When the sky lurks a cool ,misty, gray feeling and the sun appears in light of your battle...it is then you know you have obeyed.

Living Life

Voices of fear and doubt,
Create a soul of drought.

Voices of anger and rage,
Create a soul of age.

Voices of generosity and caring,
Create a soul of sharing.

Voices of agony and pain,
Create a soul of shame.

Voices of laughing and singing,
Create a soul of believing.

Voices of sights and sounds,
Create a soul of living life.