the dark hole....//

Beauty rides in the sun and awakes in the dark. Darkness takes over the sun and leaves a mysterious dim light- What did we do? Where did we go? When and how did we get there? These are often the questions asked when one deals with some sort of depression. It's as if one is a dark tunnel and can't see a hint of light at all. Pitch black- Ever been there? Ever experienced a moment of pure sadness? Sadness that has crepted into your soul and haunted you? Well let me tell you - a true/genuine story about a real girl- who fought a battle for a long time- but didn't even know she was fighting: depression. It's a good life that she leads: she has a family: ones who love her and would be there for her at any moment of the day or night. No hard trauma in her life: sure there were disappointments in every year of her life, and things that yes didn't go her way. To the person looking in : you would think: she had it all. She had success in the greatest sense of the word...she had a good job that she was often thankful for, but often times regretted she had. She had friends and family whom she often socialized with daily. Never letting on the true emotions she had inside. You see, she didn't know that what she felt was normal-- normal in the way that depression feels. This same girl: would often times cry herself to sleep and often times didn't want to get up to face each day. Each day that was a gift-- with new surprises and opportunities for her to embrace. She was so far in a dark, destrought hole of her own disappointments that she couldn't find strength to embrace her own life. Sure, she lived her own life, had her own success, and held it all together for those she loved, but didn't feel the worth of herself within her own heart...that it took only moments for those who met her to experience. This same girl: helped others who had much of same problem as she did, however the words she spoke as encouragement, that she so beleived for those people: She didn't believe those same words for her ownself. One day this girl woke up and said: it's a new dawn, it's a new day, and it's a new life for me! She went thru much counseling and support at this time in her life- to get to that point---a few months and several doses of some good medication-- may have helped her....but nonetheless she got the point- She got who she was- where she wanted to go- who she wanted to be-- and most of all what she wanted her own life to reflect. This journey was one of the darkest and most lonely paths she had ever walked. She walked it faithfully- didn't even know she was battling the same thing as most of those around her- and yet was able to help and inspire some great people to achieve some grand goals in their own lives. That was truthfully the grace and mercy of the Lord working thru her spirit! Cause what her Spirit felt--- couldn't have possibly helped those people. As this girl began to understand her battle of depression: she realized that there was a greater story behind it all: her story: the story of her life-- the story that would touch and help others-- by an experience that she could barely work thru on her own terms. She realized that though she had dealt with very dark and dreary days: there was light to be seen, life to be lived, love to be felt, and joy to be embraced. This girl found the joy and the happiness that she had daily experienced at one point in her life- but had been so struck by the dark...that she had forgotten what it was like to see light! To live life, to embrace moments, to feel and accept love, and most of all to express the true joy of her soul. My friends and family: this story is me! One usually can't just sit down and express their feelings so blatenly- but I can tell you- this girl can- and this girl will- This girl wants others to embrace who they are, and be able to exprience the life that they are meant to lead...thru joy, and happiness. The true/ genuine feeling of joy and happiness comes no other way but thru the Grace and Mercy of our Lord- There is a pure sense of life when one sees the light for the very first time after being in the very dark hole of depression. If you haven't experienced depression at some point in your life: you are very blessed individual! And to those who have: know exactly what I am talking about! And to those who I hope don't have to walk that road, but might end up there- and not even know it, like I did, it is my hope and prayer that you make it out---by striving and knowing that you will indeed see the light again! For you will-- and when you do-- Grace and Mercy will take you by each hand and pull you out of the dark and treacherous hole! Keep walking and may the experience of dark hole of depression, lead you to the greatest light that shines hope, faith and love in your life! For the beauty of life is where the sun shines out of the dark! Blessings to each of you who I have read thus far! :)

the heart of me

As of late, I have taken a break from writing on this blog and have tapped into other interests. I have a new found joy for writing in my little green book of important sayings or blessings that occur to me throughout the day. This has been an uplifting encouragement and allowed my attitude to flourish throughout each day. It has allowed to be in the moment with those around me and allowed me the opportunity to experience the blessings of the people and friendships that surround me to be more evident and given me the grace to embrace each moment. When I was in high school: I used to write sayings down that people would say and I would tell them, how that phrase would go down in Kimberly's book of Knowledge- That book has yet to come into existence, however, I found myself recently formulating brilliant conversations and intertwining the blessings of everyday life to write a book of encouragement. Now every writer has her or his muse. Lately my muse, has been found within discovering the heart of me- In recent months, I began formulating a mission statement: I hesitate to share this: as I fail to live it out daily: however, I feel that in discovering more about the heart of me: I had to go to the root who I am, what I beleive, and what I want to accomplish in this life. So I share this mission statement in hopes to inspire someone and begin a new adventure of fully striving to live this out on a daily basis: This statement has been a work in progress for several months, and I feel confident that though it may take me a lifetime to successfully accomplish the goals outlined within this statment: it is my purpose: in which I find great fulfillment in embracing each day with grace- ***** -to seek adventure- to capture the present moments as gifts from above- to evaluate myself- to inspire and illuminate the souls of the ones who cross my path- to grow and embrace the gift of grace- all for his glory to shine- *****

magical gifts...//

As children the grandest sight to see at Christmas are the packages that are under the sparkling lit tree. There is something so precious about watching a child's face light up when opening the package that they have continually asked for throughout the holiday season. It's as if in that moment nothing else matters but for that child to have received what they asked for, and the smiles of excitement that are written upon their face.

So what makes Christmas magical?? One might say that it's the presents or that it's the holiday cheer that comes with the beauty of Christmas. Another might say, it's the giving of time, and celebrations that glitter throuhgout the season. Someone else, might come along and say it's the joyous birth of Jesus that allows this time of year to shine.

Often times there is so much focus on giving to one another...that we often forget what Christ has given to us. We are His children, and what makes Christmas magical, is the celebration birth of our Savior.

Just as a parent prepares for the gifts that their children unwrap each Christmas, So does Christ. He prepares gifts...magical gifts...that His children receive not only at Christmas but everyday throughout the year. The gift He gives freely is LOVE...and in return we are to love others and allow His Spirit to shine...not only at Christmas...but everyday throughout the year.

When we share His love...He's smiling with excitement...(just like the precious child who unwraps the gifts under the sparkling lit tree) because we have received the gift He gave...and learned the lesson of giving love to another. When we give love and receive it return...His glory shines...// That's the magic of Christmas!


* May each one of you give and receive a special gift of love this Christmas to continue the celebration of our Savior's love throughout the New Year *

...He sees me...

In recent months, I have been faced with one choice after another...wondering where this is all leading me...and if I will succeed in this journey...// I am reminded that it's not suppose to be an easy journey...but a journey that reveals a greater purpose in who He is in me...// People may mistreat me and not look at my worth...as to which I will remain silent...and pray that a greater light will shine...// I may get frustrated within this journey...and release tears of frustration...but it's all just taking me one step closer to releasing the tears of joy--

There's a moment when a curtain draws back and the shadows appear to brighten and shine...isn't that what we all long for...the moment where life isn't a chaotic mess...but a moment of standing in His grace...and seeing His love sparkle...//

I am more convinced that this is a moment of grace flowing...though the water is rough...and the stakes are high...He sees me...and knows that succeeding isn't about what I have, where I am going, or even where I have been...but that success is found in trusting that the waters will calm and His love will be mine--

orange sky

There is a beauty that doesn't compare to anything so grand on this earth...but I am learning how the colors in this world reflect the artistic design of our God. He cares so much for the storms in each life-- ...and also knows how to soften each spirit with His peace-- He knows how to give us an orange sky to show us His vibrant love-- ....and allows each soul to feel joy--

the worth of obedience...//

*when the music fades...and all is stripped away...and I simply come...longing to just bring...something that's of worth...that will bless your heart...I'll bring you more than a song...cause a song in itself...is not what you have required...you search much deeper within...thru the way things appear...you're looking into my heart...*

In the stillness of life...one must find joy...and follow their heart...// By following their heart...it requires listening to the soul...and being obedient when it may seem wrong...// All will fade away...and in that moment when it's just them and their God...He says I require you to bring ME faith...faith to trust that I am the great I am...and that in the following MY will thru obedience you are bringing the worth of what I require-

No matter the cost of that obedience...he requires our faithfulness and even when all seems lost, uncertain, and hopeless...we should stand on solid ground...knowing that the worth of the requirements were obeyed and followed...and that ultimately...HE sees the heart and the intentions that were obeyed- That's what matters at the end of each day...is to know...that when all seems lost...you can set aside every distraction...and say I faithfully obeyed what You required-- and that You see my heart-- and will show me that You are the Faithful One.

food for thought?!

food for thought...is often good for the soul to embrace...//

In recent weeks I have reflected upon these verses and what they truly mean to the believer. I wanted to share these verses to be an encouragement to each reader...in hopes that you too could see and know that God is still our Mountain Mover...all it takes is having the faith the size of a mustard seed to see His glory fulfilled in our lives. Mountains are truly moved when we surrender by living in obedience of showing His faithful love through our actions in all that we encounter.

*You don't have have enough faith* Jesus told them. *I tell you the truth, if you had faith as small as a mustard seed you could say to this mountain: *Move from here to there* and it would move...Nothing would be impossible* ~Matthew 17: 20

*For the mountains may move and the hills disappear, but even then my faithful love for you will remain. My covenant of blessing will never be broken, says the Lord who has mercy on you* ~Isaiah 54: 10