Brotherly Love

In the previous post I had mentioned that realizations and perilous thoughts had been swarming through my heart. I have been shadowing through these indentations of life that have allowed me to be much of who I am today.

This journey that I call "life" has given me plenty of unexpected turns. These unexpected turns have taught me how to obey, trust, have faith, hope, and most of all love. Not necessarily a romantic love...but to have a brotherly love toward the people that God strategically has allowed in my path.

Typically, growing up I loved all freely. I was very open with anyone...and always sharing a story. However, something changed in my spirit when I went to college. Not sure why or even how, but I closed off, became more of introvert than I ever expected. During those years, I really think my philosophical journey began. I began to question God about many things...including my existence. I wasn't sure of the answers of life's perilous questions, and decided that my research had to begin with me.

I had to venture far away from people whom I had loved. That meant leaving my comfort zone and embracing the unknown. For years , I knew I wanted to go to Liberty University, major in vocal performance and eventually one day teach music. So for two years, I actively pursued this life, and found myself constantly questioning the decision of attending this school. I really wanted to be there...I had made friends, knew people from home, and in reality had a fulfilled college experience. There was something missing. I couldn't quite place it, nor could I comprehend it. It was then I knew something had to change.

It was time for me to leave my path...the one that I wanted. It was time for me to embrace a bigger avenue that taught me many of life's lessons. After leaving Liberty University, I took two years off to seek the Lord about where He wanted my next step of obedience to be and what did He want for me to pursue as my career. During those two years, I found myself in the local library studying philosophers and psychologists, and different view points of human existence and questioning more about life than I ever had before.

So as the summer of 2003 approached I knew that I needed to be thinking about school. So, I began praying about colleges and where to attend. I remember it as if it was yesterday. I was sitting in my little comfy apartment in Richmond, VA watching Oprah. When I felt the spirit prompt my soul. I immediately turned off the TV and began to pray about what the Lord was speaking to me. In that moment, He recalled Lee University to my mind. I had applied there my senior of high school, but had no desire to venture that far away from home. In that moment, God called me to attend Lee University and major in Psychology. Well, it was mid June...and I figured I would apply for Spring semester of 2004. Funny how, less than three weeks later, I get a call saying I have a roommate and a dorm room for the Fall semester of 2003. I knew that this was greater than anything I could have worked out, and so I quit my job and moved out of my apartment and was in Cleveland Tn in less than 72 hours. Looking back, it was all a world wind.

The next three years, brought about every emotion that a person could face. Lee University is forever etched in my mind as my desert. A place that I was apparently prepared for, however, walked some pretty tough terrain. The next three years brought more hardship to my soul, than I ever anticipated.

I had been there a semester and was just happy to be finishing my degree. I was a junior my first year and it was my hardest academic year yet. I was trying to get caught up with transferring so that I could graduate from there in some orderly fashion...and not draw this education process out forever. This place, gave me a degree, and even gave me a firmer foundation in my beliefs. Though this place gave me some happy moments to be enjoyed, being at Lee also brought many hardships to be embraced.

I lost a close friend/roommate while attending Lee. She was a person who God brought into my life to teach me new things about His love. The truth is we sat at a local Dairy Queen one night and it was as if we instantly knew the other. Hard to explain really...but it was a moment shared by both us that remains in my heart today. We had the same promise from the Lord and we were on the path seeking His will. She was who God sent to me to give me faith and hope through waiting for His promise to be fulfilled. She knew this instantly. It amazed me how she just stated Scripture that night and believed in her soul that every promise that He had given her would be fulfilled in her lifetime. I had no idea that night...her lifetime would only be a short little while.

As the next year went on she was my roommate and ever so gently prompting me to embrace this life and accept the calling that God had upon my life. She knew I was hesitant in what He was calling me to do...yet stood behind me faithfully, encouraging me to grasp the Lord's hand in all circumstances. Meanwhile, she saw how Satan was attacking me through every bit of this journey. She and I many philosophical/ theological discussions about the ramifications of living life on this earth. Interesting, how she really reasoned with me through life's perilous questions...and sometimes it was as if she already new the answers. I miss those conversations.

So life brought me that hardship...being one that broke my spirit and at the same time relinquishing me to embrace this life. To accept the calling that God had put upon my Spirit and not waver in His promise.

The Lord had fulfilled every promise He had given to her before He took her home. I not only knew these promises...but some of them were the same that were spoken into my life...it was a friendship of faith...and one that stays with me everyday. Her fulfilled promises give me hope that every journey is written and that every promise God makes...He keeps.

Friends this is just a portion of what I walked...but if I could say one thing....having and sharing brotherly love is the essence of finding hope and faith.