Memories of Hope

During the perplexing, wavering, uncertain moments of life, one finds the brightest spark of hope to hold on to. It's not that their life should shatter just cause someone else's world has collapsed....it's the spark of hope that lights the way. Knowing that the heart and soul has forever been changed by the mere fragment of someone else's precious time. It's not the loss that lives on...it's the memories...the ones that brought hope and light the way for a brighter day. It's the smiles and cries that emphasize the meaning of life. It's taunting really, the way life shatters...and yet how hope relinquishes the spirit of life into the soul. It's a time in life that will never be forgotten...nor will ever be replaced...it's the light of my hope and will forever guide my way. In this life...there will be loss of loved ones...there will be time for grieving, there will be time of precious new found hope, there will be time to laugh, there will be time to grow, but most of all there is always time to love. May this Christmas mark not only a time of hope, but a time of love....

Sparkle and Shine

Abba father, have your way...Though they know not what they do....May the cross draw men to you...to you...( Hillsong ) Every bit of my heart is bursting! Not only to hear the Father say "yes" but to know in my spirit that what I had experienced in recent years was a beautiful tapestry of life unveiling the mystery and magic of Jesus' love for me. He is all that I need in this life...I know that time paves the way and light captures my soul in the darkness...for the road was treacherous and barren. It allowed me to fear who God was and all that He could do for me. It brought me to a place of understanding the real meaning of the love of Christ. Blessings...there are so many...but I was reminded tonight...that when things are dark...He is still at work...paving a way and giving meaning to things that are incomprehensible. It's beautiful, how for a time life spins tragically to forever build a bridge across the barren land. To spring hope and happiness within the soul that allows the love in life to sparkle and shine!

Inspired Love

For love is as strong as death, and its jealousy is as enduring as the grave. Love flashes like fire, the brightest kind of flame. Many waters can not quench love; neither can rivers drown it. If man tried to buy love with everything he owned, his offer would be utterly despised. - Song of Songs 8: 6-7

Dreamality

The older I get, the more that I realize my dreams are coinciding with reality. My life goals expand over an array of complexities...and allow me to keep myself grounded in this life. One thing is for certain...my ideal of dreams and reality. Dream...the place I often find myself wanting to live...not necessarily like a perfect dream world....but the dream of just simply being happy with the reality that has been given to me. It's really my dreamality that keeps me going....knowing that it will get better from this point of reality....and that the dream of what I desire will never die. It may not ever come my way....nor ever make me smile...but in dreamality....life always smiles at me. It gives me hope...and allows me to embrace the reality of the all that I encounter...with the twist of my dream being at the center of my heart...always. If I could ever say that I have lived a dreamality...it would be right now... today....to know that reality is colliding with a lifelong dream to create the beauty and light; of what I call a dreamality. It's real...and when all of life fails me, or I fail at life...the dreamality of this light will pick me up and gently carry me back to the birth of it's beauty.

Wisdom

An array of things encompassed my mind today. All in all though my heart is feeling blissfully happy with life. It is the happiness in this life that we create. If we seek out the beauty, it is favorable that beauty will be found. If we seek destruction than wreckage can never be mended. It's pretty amazing to know the harden soul...I had several years ago at this time... has truly been transformed. It's the hope and beauty of life that got me through. It's all around...it's the laughter of children playing, it's the bird with a song...singing. It's the rainbow, at the end of terrible storm. It's the light in the darkened room. It's the peace, amidst the confusion. It's smile that lifts your spirits. It's a unique connection that transcends time. It's the encouraging word and favorable winds that inspire the heart to believe. Someone asked me the other day....where did your wisdom come from? You are so full of it....well I had to chuckle at the humor of her question...but I paused before answering...and a photo journey in my heart flashed within my soul... In my most casual persona...I answered....I would have to say Life. Just seeing the simplicity and beauty creates the atmosphere of heightened inspiration. Life paints an array of beauty everyday...it's all in how we perceive the painting that teaches us wisdom.

Inspiration

I will cause you to walk in the straight way...I will open to you the gates of righteousness. For whoever finds Me, finds life. - - Psalm 118:19 Hold faithfulness and sincerity as first principles. - - Confucius A man of courage is also full of faith. - - Cicero Even in darkness, light dawns for the upright, for the gracious and compassionate and righteous man.Good will come to him who is generous and lends freely,who conducts his affairs with justice. He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord. His heart is secure; he will have no fear; in the end he will see his desire on his adversaries. He has scattered abroad his gifts to the poor, his righteousness endures forever; his horn [dignity] will be lifted high in honor. - - Psalm 112: 4-5, 7-9

Magical Moments

The pain that life will deliver...can wake us up and deliver us to a state of consciousness in which we can make each moment count and find meaning in our existence. -- Carl Jung There is a good that is sought out after suffering. When tragedy strikes, we tend to seek for the good in life. It's the mentality that good outweighs the bad...and that life isn't about tragic experiences...that life itself is truly about living. Tragedy in some aspect spurs the heart to keep the faith....to be persistent. To understand and grasp the full meaning of living life. Taking opportunities and embarking on the journeys of life that are unexpected. Blessings...are found through tragedy....it may not be through the avenue that you expect the good in life to present itself....but it comes...in a light-hearted banter, with a definite sense of God given divine connection. It's bliss to the core...and it sparkles and shines...for the soul has truly found the beauty of life. It's a moment....when life collides with your existence and allows your inner strength to once again spark. The moment when time and chance allow you to be who you are. When you are pulled from the wreckage...that suffering can bear upon....it is a joy...to know that you have once again overcame...and have experienced the good within tragedy. It has taken me some time to emerge from tragedy and embrace this life again. I have had true milestones in the last two years....that have forever shaped my path and taught my heart how to truly live for each and every moment. Those moments are captured in the soul, and allow me to see the good in life, and what beauty God can bring about amidst tragedy. When one finds themselves in a better place than they ever imagined...and the mystery of life encompasses the soul....that is the moment to embrace....when you see your true colors shining through. Life and blessings intertwined to illuminate the true magic that is within all of us. It's just another moment that subtly states....there is a bigger meaning in this life. No matter the pain, nor tragedy...life sends magical moments of faith to encourage the heart....that enlarges the soul to create the bliss that life beholds.

Here and Now

At times there is a feeling in my soul that resonates with the smile on my face. It's as if moments of life collide with the change of seasons. Have you ever wondered why you live through certain situations? Reasons might not be obvious to the naked eye at the exact time...but within the change of seasons the past circumstances collide with life and you clearly are hearing yourself saying....this is why I lived through that particular situation. Believe it or not...I have recently found myself in a complex situation that I experienced a few years back. I learned from those mistakes....and gained clarity on who I was. Life, Love, and Latte....was definitely created in memory of my precious friend, Odessa. She inspired me on so many levels to search deep within my soul to accomplish who I was and live for each moment. She constantly was encouraging me to embrace the here and now opportunities of life. She always wanted me to strive for more....and always showed me how to create my life to shine with purpose. Each day I live I recall situations and circumstances that she would encourage my spirit to embrace. She knew that God within me could accomplish great things...I am not so sure that I ever truly grasped this until recently. The Latte....is absolutely my favorite coffee...especially when it is fixed to perfection...and handed to me with a smile. The Love....well this isn't so much about a romantic love....as it is a brotherly love. Embracing those around you with a love that flows from the Father. Love is a process that teaches you how to live life. The Life....well if you have your latte and you have love surrounding you....than you have a life worth living. Inspiration is methodically thought through to the essence of it's core...I have been inspired...not only by someone who knew how to live life....but by striving to live life. When I say this....life is about touching the souls around you...going the extra mile....putting a smile on someone else's face...that's what it's about. If you genuinely can embrace those moments in life and feel yourself living....than you know you have accomplished great things for the Lord. In recent months, I have felt those shining moments around me....just by simply grasping here and now opportunities...not questioning or even reasoning out my actions...but simply believing that I can strive for more and accomplish great things for His kingdom. Tonight...I was able to grasp another opportunity...one that I may not understand, nor ever fully grasp....but to since the mystery of living through the circumstance, is truly an honor. So as the moments of life collide with the change of seasons...embrace the opportunities...for the blessings are found within the soul that resonates through your smile.

Joyful Spirit

The jovial sound of laughter filled the room. An amidst joy of happiness encompassed my soul. I hadn't quite felt that way in some time. I was humbled by the friendliness of people and their conversations with me. It was quite an experience to receive such honor. You never know who can touch your soul. I mean really grasp a chord and make a difference. To inspire the smiles from within to shine. To point out the unique magic and mystery that your soul relinquishes. Blessings come in the everyday moments with people. It was in that moment that the joy I hadn't felt in so long...and yet knew hadn't gone away...appeared back into my soul...and gently allowed my joyful spirit to shine.

Fearlessness

Fearlessness is not the absence of fear. It's the mastery of fear. It's about getting up one more time than we fall down. --Arianna Huffington Nothing like a soy vanilla latte fixed to perfection with the exact saying that you needed to read on the side of the cup. With the notion of fear, one must press on, for how will fear subside if one doesn't try. May fear not override your soul....instead face the fear....and embrace the process of trying....that's where the magic and mystery reside.

Change

If you focus on results, you will never change. If you focus on change, you will get results.

- Jack Dixon


It's all in perceptive and the way we choose our actions. The change is inside of all of us. When one decides to take the leap and make the change....results will inevitable change too. It's about getting out of the ebb and flow of life...embracing another avenue....and cherishing new moments that touch the heart. Focusing on the change....causes bravery and courage....but once results are seen....change can be a beautiful thing.

Changing a pattern in life...can be so taunting and almost foreign. Not sure how to break free from old patterns and embrace new....but it's all about trying....one may fail....others may exceed...but if one doesn't try to change....then nothing will ever happen....nor ever be exciting and new.

So here's to the change.....of embracing another path....walking a new road.....and cherishing new moments....that will still encompass the taste of a latte.

Quest for Truth

In the attitude of silence the soul finds the path in an clearer light, and what is elusive and deceptive resolves itself into crystal clearness. Our life is a long and arduous quest after Truth

- Mahatma Gandhi

Undefined situations may pierce the heart and leave one questioning who they are. When emotions and words are quenched by silence...the heart seeks the truth. When muck and mire are thrown into the path representing hardship one learns to embrace the courage to live. When life is brinked upon the shore one fades into time to yearn for reasoning. Life hangs and causes the passion to subside. As the heart and soul grow wiser one's quest for truth ignites.

It may not be easy to be silent in given situations....but I can guarantee that the fulfillment through the silence is one of hope....the path broadens and the light sparks...it is perilous....but it teaches discipline, and allows the true, genuine character to shine.

Capturing Clarity

Capturing clarity was a prayer I have been praying for some time now. This week the adventure unfolded before my eyes. Clarity was captured in a moment's time to send answers regarding a situation that I was apart of for a few years. When that clarity came it was overly pronounced and made my heart utterly leap. I was overwhelmed with joy and happiness. A sense of relief washed over my soul and allowed my heart to feel free again. I felt my heart jump with excitement in that moment.

A prayer simply answered....not maybe the way I had hoped....but in the way that showed me there is still a supernatural force working on our behalf. A moment when clarity screamed....this is why!!!! Oh to be overjoyed and understand the reason behind faithfulness, obedience, and courage. To sense the beginning of new journey and embracing the light that now shows new found hope.

Clarity spinning and capturing the life that could have been, but simply wasn't in the plan. A moment where in time, and reason...couldn't explain....only being forced to obey. Being faithful to the moments that captured my heart and brought truth to light.

Lives colliding without seeing....lives inspiring just living. Clarity showing intentions were pure...no motives to grasp. A legacy embraced for the moment to live on. A life transformed by the faithfulness from the start.

Capturing clarity for the moment where life took the turn and death was the despair. My heart anguished left wondering for countless days. Overdrawn by the heart wrenching loss and realizing that it was truly a gain. Never knowing or grasping reason, just hoping that life was worth living. To rejoice for the one loss and knowing restoration was captured when time stood still. Embracing the heart of a moment's time and living with passion, discovering life.

What a true honor, to be able to have walked the few years blinded, to experience the defining, ever so intense moment of capturing clarity!

Less traveled

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.

- Robert Frost

Thank goodness...I chose the road less traveled...it has left me perplexed for a few years...but I am realizing that risk was choosing the different path....sight unseen. Now I can officially say that all the questioning and reasoning...is appearing to be clearer.

Chaos

One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star.

~ Friedrich Nietzsche

There's no such thing as chaos, only certain patterns of order we fail to understand.

~ Kierkegaard

Love of Christ

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

This song has touched my heart in the last couple of years. It has rang true in my soul. He is my only hope. Oh, how I pray that in this life, all the tumultuous circumstances that surround me...that I would truly learn and know how to stand in the presence of Christ. No matter what drought or storm I face, to sense His love and peace is all I need.

Blessings to each of you reading. May the love of Christ embrace your heart today and fill your soul with joy!!! He is love....ultimately love.

Choices and Mistakes

Billowing winds blow leading me upon different directions other than expected. I question where I go, and what I do. I make memories through the lessons of life, trying to understand that clearly one path directly interlinks me to another. I hesitate without noise if I have chosen the right the direction.

College brought upon it's own struggles. I kept thinking all during those years, if I could just get through that time phase, that things would look up and life would perhaps, rise into a happy, bubbly shaped circle. I may have thought wrong. I can't quite see how one road traveled, links to another, but somehow it is intertwined.

Can people, other than yourself, make mistakes in given situations? Life altering mistakes, if you will. The kind of mistakes, that take an absolute lifetime to put behind you...mistakes that are never forgotten, just simply made by accident. Never intending to create such a fixation or a problematic circumstance.

I utterly believe this can happen. I think that people can make mistakes, knowing that they are creating a life altering mistake in someone else's life. People choose the situations that are presented to them. They make notion to what they desire in their lives. Some even create the mistakes to prove they can succeed at something. The problem is that in that choice...and though the person maybe was happy with that choice that they made, they ultimately altered the implications of anothers life plan.

Tragic, how someone could know so deeply that they were choosing an impeccable choice and at the same time watching an extraordinary choice fall out of place. It's as if the despair had rushed over the situation allowing the latter of choices to be only a vapor of wind.

Time tells the story...the story of choices, the story of mistakes, along with regrets, but most of all shares the story of hope. You see, I have made life altering mistakes...and believe that life altering mistakes have been made toward me. I know that time can heal the soul and I know that time can replace the memories. I also believe that time can change those mistakes....take the regret, and give a person hope.

Our Lord is sovereign, and when a choice may have been a mistake, He is there....still guiding, ever so present, leading us on, seeking our obedience, giving us time, shaping our way, consoling the despair, and waiting for the time to bring us forth as gold.

Yellow Butterflies

The last couple of days...I have seen yellow butterflies everywhere. Most people who know me, know that I adore this special creature and in some way have taken the process of the caterpillar and it's transformation into a butterfly; and compared it to the process of life.

Lately, it seems as I have had lots of questions formed over my past regrets. Knowing the things in life that I can't change and accepting my faults within the process of life. To some my process in this life of finding my life partner...has not been highly looked upon. I am a person of really high standards and believe in my heart that love will find me. I don't believe I have to seek this love out...I really do believe that the essence of love will seek me out. Just as my Heavenly Father sought me for His own...so will my future husband.

I know that I don't understand every aspect of my life process...and in the last few years my life has been swarmed with doubt and uncertainty. Life has been something I have had to make myself live. Getting by on my own and learning from my own mishaps. I haven't had anyone to lean on other than the Lord. In my times of stress and sorrow it seemed as if the Lord would place butterflies in my path...that would make me smile.

I remember walking on campus my last semester of school . It was in the middle of February...it was rather chilly...and not at all the season for me to see a butterfly. As I walked to my class from my car I saw the butterfly flying to my left. I remember thinking...is that a butterfly? It spoke to me...not literally, but metaphorically. I knew this butterfly was to symbolize freedom and peace to me. Letting me know that in the worries and struggles of life...I am being transformed...into who God wants me to be. It doesn't matter...how big the trial or the test...it's the faith that gets you through. As that butterfly flew around me that day I stood there admiring it's wings knowing that the creature was freezing....but he fluttered around and landed on my arm. I stood there wondering if anyone was watching and looked around and saw no one but myself. It was a moment I knew that butterfly had found me....I teared up....because this creature had touched my spirit in some way, letting me know that all of life is a process and that hope is found in flying. Where you land...is the peace that comforts.

I don't know why I have seen so many yellow butterflies the last couple of days....but they have taken me back to that moment on that chill February day and made me smile once again. Life is a process with a transformation that shapes our spirits and guides us to the peace that we all desire. They symbolize hope amidst a dreary storm and teach us how to fly effortlessly through the tests in this life.

Embrace the yellow butterflies and the joy that these special creatures signify...one may just land on your arm and delight you with a peace.

Sing to the King

.....Oh and for His returning we watch and we pray
Yes we will be ready the dawn of that day
And we'll join in singing with all the redeemed
Cause Satan is vanquished and Jesus is King....

* Sing to the King *

On my way home tonight...I was flipping through radio stations...a random station had this song playing and reminded me what truly matters. Being ready for the King's return...and oh how we get to join singing with all the redeemed!!!

Oh how I am looking forward to that day...but for now...it's all about singing praises to him through the ebb and flow of all that life brings.

Clarity, Peace, and Serenity

Life happens...taking many twists and turns...causing us to pause and notice what is happening. Life situations arise that cause us to ponder the rationalizations of others actions, including our own. Amidst this life there is turmoil that rises and perpetuates the way we view life. Sometimes in life situations God is silent, not lending words or wisdom as to how to handle the circumstance. It seems no matter how much one prays the sound of silence seems louder. This can cause one to even believe if their single little prayer meant anything.

In time, clarity rings perfectly clear and shines light on the darkened way. I am currently, seeking the Lord on clarity, peace, and serenity over several situations in life that I don't understand, nor that I fully comprehend. I clearly walked a path of faith and testament...However, silence seemed to overshadow the sound of clarity within those circumstances.

Clarity, Peace, Serenity...all give notion to calm and understanding. Clarity, that all had a purpose and is leading me to a designed destiny. Peace, that overwhelms my soul, allowing me to fully grasp the uncertainty of those moments. Serenity, that embraces my mind to live out the life that I am called to in this moment.

When life happens sending us into an oblivion all that really matters in the end is the journey itself...the realizations and classifications of Clarity, Peace, and Serenity....touching the heart and allowing one to grow as a person. Reflecting on the cherished moments that lead to ultimate healing.

Bison Banter

Random blog...right here...right now! Tonight was absolutely insane....I went from having an intellectual conversation about politics and religion to the ever so complicated procedure of ordering an iced, triple shot, organic milk, caramel macchiato. Who knew that the transition from serious to fun could happen in seconds. I was a bit on the brazen side this evening...and daring all in the same absolute moment. Tonight at the little locally owned Starbucks I let the baristi guy choose my drink. It was quite inspiring really and a bit informative. He told me that I needed the triple shot for my longevity...when my response was clearly...do you think I need a triple shot? Longevity, if you will...was his immediate response...I had to pause for a moment...and appreciate the banter from this employee...for his intellect was on que and he was taking my friendly banter in great stride. From that communicative moment, time lapsed and I found my friend and I circling this neighborhood of million dollar homes. We questioned how these people afforded homes like that...as in the same moment...I said...can I have a drive way that looks like I parked in a parking lot. I proceeded to say that the people in these homes are the ones who are giving daily botox injections as well as plastic surgery procedures to the average middle class American. People who live in these homes...still have what some consider to be valuable others consider to be junk. The implied junk referenced about was a bison head adorning the wall in one of the garages...probably because the classy, sophisticated, beautiful wife...wouldn't allow the enormous bison head to be hung elsewhere in the house. My friend inspired me to write about this grand excursion. Ultimately, it was the muse and banter of the bison that made the evening most enjoyable.

Dream

Then indecision brings its own delays,
And days are lost lamenting o'er lost days.
Are you in earnest? Seize this very minute;
What you can do, or dream you can, begin it;
Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.

~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

* thoughts are swarming...more to come soon *

Simplicity

The simplicity of life is always the best part of living. It's the iced green tea latte, with a cheerful breeze to boost the step in a day. It's the smile from a stranger, that says keep going, you never know what is lurking. It's the feeling of sunshine on your face to let you know you are alive. It's the flip floppin' shoes and sand between the toes...that crinkles the nose. It's the beautiful sound of singing a happy tune. It 's the joy of the light in the dark that shines most bright.

Simplicity....isn't just about the matter of fact in life...it's the enjoyment of simple blessings that keep us smiling and pursuing life. Go ahead and try it...embrace the little things that tug at the heart and you might find that life is engulfed with many things that are worth living for!

Blessings...May simplicity shine into your soul and bring forth a smile to your face!

Endure Burning

Viktor Frankl has always been one of my favorite therapist. He has given so much wisdom to this world. What a life he led and a determination to encompass life for all that it was worth. To bridge the correlation of suffering and happiness...is just simply brilliant. His whole concept of Logotherapy is phenomenal. I had the privilege my final semester of college to study this man...his thoughts, his beliefs, and his ideas on life and love. The most profound thing to me were his thoughts on suffering...we all must suffer in this life...but if we ultimately love and give to others amidst our suffering there is a deeper meaning in life to be found. He sought the meaning of life out to its core...and realized that suffering was a main part of the human existence. If we can proceed through our sufferings and be the light through the afflictions ...the meaning of life might just seem a little brighter.


What is to give light must endure burning.
~Viktor Frankl

Truth

Recently, I have been faced with some pretty intense revelations that only time, and most of all truth could capture. Life is an ongoing journey in which we establish and create the essence of who we are. Sometimes the hardest thing to endure is embracing the truth of who you have become.

Truth : is living life through honest reality.


Truth is a deep kindness that teaches us to be content in our everyday life and share with the people the same happiness.
~ Kahlil Gibran

Truth is the secret of eloquence and of virtue, the basis of moral authority; it is the highest summit of art and of life.
~ Henri Frederic Amiel

Truthfulness is the main element of character
~ Brian Tracy

Ice cream and Lattes

For sure, today is one of those days that the texture of smooth coffee ice cream and good conversation would have been appreciated. Or what about a refreshing iced latte along with laughter and muse. I know exactly who could have made me laugh today and made me smile through the disappointments of life. Instead, I settled for the memories of laughter, along with the flavors of life, and being thankful knowing life is worth living.

Ice cream and Lattes have become my eating/drinking pleasures in life. They surround memories of many life realizations along with many philosophical discussions. Sometimes I wonder what the mystery is behind the ambiance of these two pleasures and why so often I take the time to enjoy ice cream or a latte.

It helps me keep perspective and brings me to a deeper place of realization. Most Friday nights in college...(at least my first senior year) were spent with a close friend. We could have been out doing numerous things...however we found the simple pleasure of discussing random philosophical banter and searching out the deeper meaning of life. Not sure as to why we made this a weekly tradition that year....but we did. It seemed like every Friday night...at some point we would grab either ice cream or a latte and discuss the depthness of life.

We found ourselves questioning each other for wisdom and thought provoking statements that led to many all night discussions...literally. I had never been able to have discussions like this with anyone...for no one thought about the depthness and ramifications of life like I did...or so I thought. It was a banter that continues on in my soul still today.

Most of these discussions never had a point...nor a reason...they simply were just viewpoints being shared to grasp a deeper meaning of the reality of life situations. I still to this day get by myself and treasure those conversations dearly. We typically never knew what would be said...we just shared from the heart.

So every time I sit to eat my coffee ice cream or drink my refreshing latte...the memories flood... and the wonders of life still captivate my mind and cause me to have profound life realizations.

Delightful joy and smiles abound when I take the time to enjoy my ice cream or a latte. Who knew that ice cream and a latte...would have made such an impact on one's life...or perhaps it was the conversations, laughter, and muse that created such a perfect ending to a stressful weeks...I don't really know...but I do know...that those conversations are still recalled to my mind and allow my soul to flutter amidst all the confusion that encompasses my world.

My friend...the times of joy will one day be known and the conversations of wisdom from the heart will be shared...but until then...I share my moments of writing over ice cream and lattes.

Happiness

Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence.

~Aristotle

Sparks

Life throws little sparks that catch us off guard. The sparks may even perplex our minds and cause the friction of life to collide with reality of life. Sometimes when the road we are on is dark and the unknown way is hidden the sparks are still flashing. Their apparent glare just hasn't caught up with our reality of the unknown.

During a conversation several years ago...a friend of mine and I were discussing the reality of life and friction that can so often arise in life situations. We created the definition of "life sparks" as moments that happen through the fire and cause us to carry on with the reality that is before us. Sparks happen constantly in life and perhaps force us to change our own reality and accept the friction in life. Friction can be defined as anything as simple as: the bad day, to the baristi making the wrong flavored latte;or as dramatic as: the life changing experiences that grasp us in the most profoundest way, to the undefined/complicated relationship. Any of these scenarios can cause a little friction in the everyday suspension of life.

Occasionally, when friction comes along there are sparks that cause that friction to burn. I tend to believe that the sparks are the positive enlightening moments that either show we have been spared from the fire or have walked through the fire, to gain light of the reality in life. Either way the sparks are just mere moments frozen in time to allow the friction of life to bring forth the reality of life.

Sparks fly from all directions and subtly cause friction. When the sparks of life have friction the reality is never far from being revealed. For when the friction of life and reality of life collide the sparks then become alive.

Sparks are then the joyful and delightful golden streaks of life that have refined the mere moments frozen in time.

Discover Oceans

Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.

~ Andre Gide

Fruit of Life

Don't be afraid to go out on a limb. That's where the fruit is.

~H. Jackson Browne

But the fruit of the Spirit is :

LOVE, JOY, PEACE, PATIENCE, KINDNESS,

GOODNESS, FAITHFULNESS, GENTLENESS, SELF CONTROL

~ Galatians 5:22-23


Our fruit is found through our efforts in this life. It's how we live and how we embrace the circumstances that show characteristics of the specific fruits that we possess. When one fears life, it allows our personal fruit to grow and experience the gift of living life. Fear strengthens our fruit and gives notion of how to live in this life. If one goes out on a limb, one tests fear, and enables the fruit itself to grow.

Obedience

"God gives us all the knowledge we need in order to be obedient,
not all the knowledge we want in order to be omniscient."

~ J.J.D.

Nobility Captured

There are often times in life where our personal nobility is captured through the altering circumstances that encompass our lifestyles. I was with a client last week and was flipping through a photography book, while he was in an appointment. This quote perplexed me in such a different way. It was the snapshot of life that flashed before me in that moment.

The noble world that we live in is captured daily in the simplest forms. The waters flow, spring, spin, and even trickle by in our lives. It is how we stay a float that captures our nobility in times of crisis. During these snapshots we are at times lonely and feel as if we can't go on. The rushing tide comes along and pulls us into the riptide. Nobility captures the soul within the rushing tide and allows the lonely waters to embrace a new dimension of flowing.

The secret keeping stones are there silently awaiting the tides arrival, and knowing that life's trials aren't worth worrying about. The secret keepers are found in the trees, flowers, birds...etc. The nature that embodies us everyday. The nobility of life can be captured through seeing the beauty of nature. The snapshot of beauty is exemplified in the silences of the secrets. The sliding shutter opens to allow the beauty shine and capture the snapshot of life.

Along the path there are snapshots that are hard to not only capture; but to aspire to take. Nobility captures the spirit and allows the flowing sky to shine. It is the silver lining that is highly anticipated in any life. The snapshot that exclaims nobility captured my soul.


But look how noble the world is,
The lonely-flowing waters,
The secret-keeping stones,
The flowing sky.

~Robinson Jeffers

Fragments and Particles

It seems to me that life is created by the moments that we embrace with our hearts. The fragments and particles of life that go unnoticed until we, ourselves, give notion to the light of truth.

When life happenings are out of the ordinary, and typically left for us to simplify, people are less likely to cascade into the reality of the situation. Some people bypass it all together, not wanting to establish a change of pace within their own life. Some people tend to dabble at their monotonous situation, and ponder the ramifications of the alluring possibilities. Then there are those people who take note of their situation....and cautiously, subtly notice life happening. Questioning motives and thoughts every step of the way. Sometimes causing them to run and not exemplify the truth of their heart. When a person doubts and questions the fragments of life that are the most profound, they realize that through the happening of life, they have most fully grasped who they are as a person.

The people that dabble....they never fess up, and are usually very non committal amidst the situation. They are the ones that walk by and notice that you exist...but never speak. They have notion that you would get along and they embrace the smile that you give. However, they are the ones who question the reason for the smile...and give subtly nuances to the fact that they enjoy seeing you smile. They question the possibilities...of the could haves, the have nots, and the what ifs. Typically, there jesters speak volumes about who they are and where they stand.

The people that bypass...are those who really don't care. They are the ones who are just living the happenings of life and never grasping the ground breaking truth behind the experiences that they are facing. They tend to even deny that they lived specific stories in their life that truly touched the deepest part of their soul. Sad really, how these people just merely exist not embracing the reality of the fragments that have been given to them to experience. It truly is a tragic way to live life.

At one time or another...I have been all three of these people. In given situations and experiences that I have faced...perplexity always steered me back to desiring the truth of matters that I encounter. The fragments and particles of life were skewed leaving me to figure it out for myself. There were times of utter confusion, and times of true denial. When I chose to bypass those situations it left me feeling useless, almost wondering if I had any feelings at all. I didn't like not being honest with myself...and eventually the notion of denial led me to the reckoning of the truth in my spirit. Bypassing the fragments of life can be easy in the moment that they are happening, but can also be very detrimental to the soul.

Dabbling...I think in my life this is where I have been the most. It's as if I wanted to reach out, but the fear inside of me quenched my soul from doing so. I became content with living life as just a bystander and realizing that my questioning was causing me to live out the answers. The smiles of people who passed me by, left me questioning who I was and what did I have to offer to this world. The mere existence of one is great and who knew there could be such tragedy behind knowing a face. This type of living is consistent and yet clarity screams to be defined. It's an ebb and flow of grasping genuine reality without ever embracing the notion of truth. Living this particle of life causes one to reflect on the philosophical schemes in the human race and question different communicative ways to bring light to the situation.

Through the doubt and fear a person emerges and find who they really are. They grasp reality and give notion to the truth. The become someone through experiencing the growing pains of choosing to live truth. Truth to the soul and embracing life with their heart. Touching the life of another and giving acceptance with a smile. Clarity never given, nor ever expected, just wanting to define yourself and where you stand. Living life encompasses bypassing fragments, taking note of particles, and dabbling with the truth. Life extends even beyond these moments, allowing the questions to be the answers that ultimately form who we are. Moments that cause ourselves to embrace the fragments and particles of life for the light of truth to be shown. All life experiences give notions to who we are and how we shine our light.

Slumber Sleep

Capture the stars,
that leave their mark,
by the twinkling hope,
that lingers in the dark.

Cherish the dark,
that restores the soul,
by the slumber sleep,
that silences the light of day.

Carry the light,
that dims the despair,
by setting the blaze,
that shines a new day!

Enduring Hardship

Often times people think that love is something that happens that sends two hearts into an oblivion and allows a couple to live happily ever after. At times, I think this is possible. However, I believe that love has a deeper meaning than living happily ever after.

Love can be shown in different ways. Love can symbolize and mesmerize and allow one to question everything that he/she is as a person. Love can embrace the warmth of a smile and love can simply run. Eventually, living out love is something that must be played out before ever embracing the happily ever after.

I have had my share of seeing beautifully written love stories lived out and experienced right before my eyes. These stories have given me more hope to just keep trusting in the Lord for the beautiful hand written story that He has for me. The truth is when it comes to love...and given my past it is completely understandable...love is something that is truthfully hard for me to grasp. I have experienced so much unconditional love in my life, that I fear it will never be found in this life. My parents set the bar extremely high and though I am grateful for what I have experienced...I know that not everyone experiences a happily ever after love.

Others live through love....they experience a moment and realize that with chemistry and commonalities it can work. Though it may be hard and at times, heart wrenching, they deal and accept the utter fact...that well love brought us together and love will keep that bond.

Yes, love is hard...however, it should not be painfully hard...living through tumultuous doubt and fear of loosing love along the way can tear the soul and leave one in pieces. Hardship...is something that happens before ever falling in love. It is the journey that proceeds that happily ever after moment that allows the genuineness of love to be real. Without hardship...one could never have a true/genuine love story. You have to learn how to stand on your own without ever embracing another, before true and genuine love can find one's soul . You have to love yourself in order to give the love you have in your heart to another. Most of all...Love stems from the Father...He is love....and with His love...stories can be written. They can stand the test of time, and truly touch the depths of the heart. Love has so many ideals...but the truth is... if one can live out the test before ever embracing the soul of another....than the beauty of that love is found through the hardship.

The hardship that each person experiences before connecting with the soul that is meant for them is the foundation of what will eventually lead them to the happily ever after that is so desired.

Evidently, enduring hardship is apart of the road that gives a couple the stability and strength to embrace the destiny of two hearts. Once the rough terrain is walked and life has played out, and the hardship has disappeared, that is when the happily ever after begins.

Unseen Certainty

The uncertainty of life surrounds us constantly, leaving us questioning the true unseen certainty. We live in a world of constant change and what might be acceptable in one moment isn't quite acceptable in another. Out of the uncertainty of this world, there is a creativity that is born from within ourselves that motivates our personal courage and enables us to release the certainties that we cherish.

Releasing these certainties, what we know to be true, allows our creativity to spin cycles in life, challenging us to proceed with faith and courage. When we embrace the creativity in our personal souls, and cling to the courage in our hearts, the two converge and what seemed to be an uncertainty of life, has truly been just a glimpse of how to let our certainties go.

For Christians, the certainty in life is Creation: knowing that we are created in the image of God. However, with this notion we are human, and our nature, at times fails. We must have courage and faith to keep pursuing the life of certainty among the uncertain world. The motivation of Faith for a Christian is usually stemmed from the uncertainties of life, to allow our personal faith to strengthen. During these times of strife we are forced to let go of our certainties and cling to that we know to be true; faith, courage, hope, love, and salvation. Eventually, there comes a time where we must release the certainties in this life and cling to an unseen certainty.

Creativity requires the courage to let go of certainties.
~Erich Fromm

Satisfaction

What makes one satisfied in this life? What ables a person to look at life with clear rose glasses and see all of life's perfection rather than it's flaws? I honestly wish I was more of the person that could pass all the flaws of this life and see perfection. I wish so badly that I could become satisfied in this life. I typically can find optimism in most situations and thrive on being at peace within life situations that arise.

There come certain realms that I am finding it harder and harder to just be satisfied. I am a person who has many blessings in this life to offer up to God and give Him the praise and glory for bringing me through life situations because of His grace and mercy. However, I have hit a crossroad in my path in this life. I find myself striving more and more to figure out what my true destiny is to live out on this earth, and find myself surrendering in battle's left and right to get me there. I find myself constantly questioning life, and it's authentic Ora that life itself possesses. I question God often about life situations that have been thrown at me and to some degree find it hard not to be frustrated at Him at times. Not at all do I want to blame God for the hardships and persecutions that I have faced...but I simply want reason behind these afflictions that He has chosen me to walk through.

I believe that God walked the hardest road of any of us. He paid the price for us when He died on that cross...and that I am forever grateful for. He walked through many hardships and times of persecution....but because of His undeniable love for His people, He chose to endure and pay the price of love for all to accept; if they desired.

I am sure that somewhere along the 33 years of His life here on earth that He had feelings of dissatisfaction. I believe he still does, every time His people sin against Him. However, He still accepts us back into His loving arms, even when we have disappointed Him.

Though He may have felt as if He wasn't satisfied at times, He still endured pain, hardship, and persecution...and above all...He still loved. Amidst unsatisfied times...He loved and He gave love to His people, and still does.

I question God about my own personal satisfaction in this life. What more can I do to show that love? How can I become satisfied through the fire? These questions are often raised in my own heart...and often I hear Him say...just love through the fire. Through unsatisfied times and fiery situations...just love and trust Me every step of the way...and Satisfaction will be found.

Life itself may not present the Ora of perfection, but satisfaction can be found through the flaws in which we choose to embrace; to love.

Puzzle Pieces

When docked on the shore of unknown territory, I have found that God silences himself. It seems to me, that when He is silent we hold one obscure piece of the puzzle , and can't figure out where the rest of the foundational pieces lie.

It is as if one has their corner pieces of the puzzle, but nothing else seems to match up, nor configure. This world is trapping and only temporary and when nothing seems to fit with the God given puzzle piece....we worry and fret.

How does one put the puzzle pieces of life together? This is a problem that I have been trying to figure out for sometime. I don't think that we put the puzzle pieces all together at once...for if He gave us every puzzle piece at one time...our spirits would be overwhelmed. He gives us major pieces in His timing, and the silence...well that is in some way building and strengthening our faith. If we are faithful to Him through His silent moments....the puzzle pieces may just sit for awhile...but they will never rot nor will they give way during those times. For the silent moments...are sharpening our faith to allow the pieces to linger and give them more of a substantial foundation.

So when life has seemed to have docked the boat, and the silence of God pierces the ear, hold that obscure puzzle piece and have faith that rest of the pieces are being held by someone greater.

Vivid Light

Sometimes life is hard. The winds come upon us so strongly and the rain pours. Our hearts are overwhelmed with emotions that we are fearful to embrace. Accepting the dark clouds in the gray sky to shadow over the truth of a vivid light. We become desolate in this world and fear who we can become instead of grasping who we are.

Life and love and may shatter and cause affliction in one's soul. The utter hope may linger on, and never cease to die. For when that day arrives that vivid light shall take me home. For in that moment my soul will live on.

Oh what glory the soul will capture and the heart will sing. For at peace my soul will ring.

Little Wonders

Sitting in a local restaurant...two girls sat and the music quietly played in the background. Conversations spoken about the little wonders of the journey's represented within both of our hearts. Integrity never questioned, for embracing life's challenges speaks volumes about a person's character.

Tragedy within life seeks a boundary of peace. In seeking peace, healing is found and capturing life's beauty is discovered.

Life is a process in which we all encounter...but the twists and turns of fate (destiny) teaches us how to capture the little wonders of life more intricately.


Little Wonders:
Rob Thomas

let it go,
let it roll right off your shoulder
don't you know
the hardest part is over
let it in,
let your clarity define you
in the end
we will only just remember how it feels

our lives are made
in these small hours
these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away,
but these small hours, t
hese small hours still remain

let it slide,
let your troubles fall behind you
let it shine
until you feel it all around you
and i don't mind
if it's me you need to turn to
we'll get by,
it's the heart that really matters in the end

our lives are made
in these small hours
these little wonders,
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away,
but these small hours,
these small hours still remain

all of my regret
will wash away some how
but i can not forget
the way i feel right now

in these small hours
these little wonders
these twists & turns of fate
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away
but these small hours
these small hours,
still remain,
still remain
these little wonders
these twists & turns of fate
time falls away
but these small hours
these little wonders still remain

Brotherly Love

In the previous post I had mentioned that realizations and perilous thoughts had been swarming through my heart. I have been shadowing through these indentations of life that have allowed me to be much of who I am today.

This journey that I call "life" has given me plenty of unexpected turns. These unexpected turns have taught me how to obey, trust, have faith, hope, and most of all love. Not necessarily a romantic love...but to have a brotherly love toward the people that God strategically has allowed in my path.

Typically, growing up I loved all freely. I was very open with anyone...and always sharing a story. However, something changed in my spirit when I went to college. Not sure why or even how, but I closed off, became more of introvert than I ever expected. During those years, I really think my philosophical journey began. I began to question God about many things...including my existence. I wasn't sure of the answers of life's perilous questions, and decided that my research had to begin with me.

I had to venture far away from people whom I had loved. That meant leaving my comfort zone and embracing the unknown. For years , I knew I wanted to go to Liberty University, major in vocal performance and eventually one day teach music. So for two years, I actively pursued this life, and found myself constantly questioning the decision of attending this school. I really wanted to be there...I had made friends, knew people from home, and in reality had a fulfilled college experience. There was something missing. I couldn't quite place it, nor could I comprehend it. It was then I knew something had to change.

It was time for me to leave my path...the one that I wanted. It was time for me to embrace a bigger avenue that taught me many of life's lessons. After leaving Liberty University, I took two years off to seek the Lord about where He wanted my next step of obedience to be and what did He want for me to pursue as my career. During those two years, I found myself in the local library studying philosophers and psychologists, and different view points of human existence and questioning more about life than I ever had before.

So as the summer of 2003 approached I knew that I needed to be thinking about school. So, I began praying about colleges and where to attend. I remember it as if it was yesterday. I was sitting in my little comfy apartment in Richmond, VA watching Oprah. When I felt the spirit prompt my soul. I immediately turned off the TV and began to pray about what the Lord was speaking to me. In that moment, He recalled Lee University to my mind. I had applied there my senior of high school, but had no desire to venture that far away from home. In that moment, God called me to attend Lee University and major in Psychology. Well, it was mid June...and I figured I would apply for Spring semester of 2004. Funny how, less than three weeks later, I get a call saying I have a roommate and a dorm room for the Fall semester of 2003. I knew that this was greater than anything I could have worked out, and so I quit my job and moved out of my apartment and was in Cleveland Tn in less than 72 hours. Looking back, it was all a world wind.

The next three years, brought about every emotion that a person could face. Lee University is forever etched in my mind as my desert. A place that I was apparently prepared for, however, walked some pretty tough terrain. The next three years brought more hardship to my soul, than I ever anticipated.

I had been there a semester and was just happy to be finishing my degree. I was a junior my first year and it was my hardest academic year yet. I was trying to get caught up with transferring so that I could graduate from there in some orderly fashion...and not draw this education process out forever. This place, gave me a degree, and even gave me a firmer foundation in my beliefs. Though this place gave me some happy moments to be enjoyed, being at Lee also brought many hardships to be embraced.

I lost a close friend/roommate while attending Lee. She was a person who God brought into my life to teach me new things about His love. The truth is we sat at a local Dairy Queen one night and it was as if we instantly knew the other. Hard to explain really...but it was a moment shared by both us that remains in my heart today. We had the same promise from the Lord and we were on the path seeking His will. She was who God sent to me to give me faith and hope through waiting for His promise to be fulfilled. She knew this instantly. It amazed me how she just stated Scripture that night and believed in her soul that every promise that He had given her would be fulfilled in her lifetime. I had no idea that night...her lifetime would only be a short little while.

As the next year went on she was my roommate and ever so gently prompting me to embrace this life and accept the calling that God had upon my life. She knew I was hesitant in what He was calling me to do...yet stood behind me faithfully, encouraging me to grasp the Lord's hand in all circumstances. Meanwhile, she saw how Satan was attacking me through every bit of this journey. She and I many philosophical/ theological discussions about the ramifications of living life on this earth. Interesting, how she really reasoned with me through life's perilous questions...and sometimes it was as if she already new the answers. I miss those conversations.

So life brought me that hardship...being one that broke my spirit and at the same time relinquishing me to embrace this life. To accept the calling that God had put upon my Spirit and not waver in His promise.

The Lord had fulfilled every promise He had given to her before He took her home. I not only knew these promises...but some of them were the same that were spoken into my life...it was a friendship of faith...and one that stays with me everyday. Her fulfilled promises give me hope that every journey is written and that every promise God makes...He keeps.

Friends this is just a portion of what I walked...but if I could say one thing....having and sharing brotherly love is the essence of finding hope and faith.

Realizations and perilous thoughts

Thoughts of new heights and realizations are swarming through my heart. I am in the process of shadowing through these perilous thoughts to underwrite their meanings. They deal with an array of life's indentations. I feel honored to have experienced such a genuine walk of life in the past month or so. When one falls faint and feels as if he or she can't go on...there is the mere fact left...of accepting the mistakes of life as lessons learned along the beaten path . When a person comes to terms that life and love are out of their own means...and have relinquished themselves to embrace the frailty of life...something amazing happens within the soul. It's as if the caterpillar had been in a cocoon for sometime...and has truly been released to fly. The soul has been set free. What a feeling...to know that obedience, trust, faith, hope and even love have played apart to allow my soul to soar.

There are more writings coming soon that express the realizations of my heart.

Be blessed precious friends!

Living with Heart

Life can be seen through your eyes, but it is not fully appreciated until it is seen through your heart. ~ Mary Xavier

If you live life with heart, rather than your eyes...you may experience the shadows of life in a whole new light. Living life with passion, embracing each moment with your heart allows you to appreciate the beauty that life encompasses. Feeling the life around you and knowing that life breathes through the light that your heart shines. Each path and avenue will have bumps, but if you bypass those and look at situations from the heart....I promise...you will feel blessed.

Simply stated...life with passion...is appreciating life through letting your heart experience the light it resonates.

Simple Smile

It began as a regular day with the same 'ole schedule. I woke up got out of bed and decided to do some errands in the early morning. Had no idea that the simplest phrase would catch me so off guard in the profoundest way.

There I was in the local Target...just trying to get some everyday things...when this pale green coffee mug caught my eye. It had an elegant, silver writing on it...that read..."Peace begins with a smile."

When we walk an everyday path, that seems so dark, and one that seems to be such a battle...It is hard to smile. Sometimes even painful. In order to smile a peace must be found in one's soul that allows the heart to flutter once again.

Recently, in the past four years, battle's have come at me...from many directions...a time of testing my strength, faith, and character. I found it hard to be at peace...within myself...let alone anyone else. There comes a time in life, where the simple smile can allow the peace to put to rest the battle in one's soul.

Peace comes from letting go of your ideals and emotions...and grasping hold of a greater hope. To genuinely smile...releases peace into the soul and allows one to know that they are alive.

After all, the simple smile lets the beauty of life unravel.

Intangible Gaps

At times a leap of faith is a perplexing step of obedience, to apart of the unknown world...and then again this same leap of faith may encompass the same perplexing step of obedience to embrace and accept more of who you are in the unknown world.

Both leaps of faith teach us to move out of the comfortable situations in life. Simply to embrace the uncomfortable. They teach us to grasp hold and have a winged prayer. In those times where obedience is key, especially when leaving the comfortable side of life, there is a bigger picture that we can't see.

Leaps of Faith are the intangible gaps in this life. They are the jumps we take that we don't have the landing in sight. Through hope and faith we have to accept the uncomfortable and somehow find away to have courage to take the steps of obedience. The leaps are embracing the obedience of what we can't see, by releasing ourselves to jump with our eyes wide open and capturing every moment of the fall.

When we sense that we have fallen...the hand gently comes along...and shows that you are soaring. You never fell... instead you to took flight...you never jumped....you took off.

So the intangible gap that one can not see, begins with a take off...not a jump...so that instead of falling...one is actually flying.

It's breathe taking and capturing how a winged prayer and obedience can cause a person to bridge the intangible gaps in this life. Leaps of faith can be scary...and a bit awkward...but once you take off...the journey of the unknown begins to shine through, and allows you to embrace who you are in the unknown world.

Brokenness

Brokenness is found in every human soul. It takes a lifetime to repair a shattered heart and remove the pieces of a story left untold.

Why is there so much brokenness in this life? Some days life is truly a treasure and others it's a broken piece of my heart. Over the years, personal tragedy has affected my life and left me in a broken state of mind. I tend to blame my melancholic personality for this mentality...however, these tragic losses are very pertinent to my soul.

In times of Brokenness, I question God. I don't understand sometimes why tragedy hits people and why we walk such sadness in this life. I know that God said, It would never be easy...and I tend to believe that for Christians it is a harder journey, to allow our courage and faith to shine before men.

Brokenness, is all around the world...in every country, in every home, in every life. I am a believer that when brokenness is heavy on the heart of a person...that their is ONE who can take that pain and bear it. I have truly experienced this. Simply stated: losing a life of a friend or a loved one, can cause utter brokenness. It can cause one to question life, existence, and yes, even God.

When tragedy strikes...one tries to deal with the ramifications of what has happened. One tries to overcome and move on with life. The truth is...you don't ever get over death...you get over the Brokenness that your heart encounters through the tragic experience.

Death: I tend rely on the thoughts that Victor Frankl shares about suffering...."If there is meaning in life at all, then there must be meaning in suffering."

Brokenness is apart of suffering. To have meaning in suffering...the shattered heart must find a way to recover and refine the broken pieces for the heart to shine through the human soul.

Avenue of Existence

There are avenues in life that cause us to question our personal human existence. These avenues consist of gratifications that are highly sought after through pop culture and other ventures that present themselves to society.

Lately, I have been contemplating the real avenues that affect who we are as people. What is it that truly makes a person exist? We all are seeking some instant gratification in life...to present ourselves to the world as if we are somebody. I don't think that instant gratifications in life make us who we are. It is the journey that precedes moments of where our existence is known. In saying this...we all walk journey's...some a little harder than others....and some that we wish we never would have walked. However, our existence is sharpened and shaped through those journeys. Every journey has specific avenues that create and mold us into who we are. It is what we present to others in the slightest moments that allows us to exist.

Existence...is the simple smile that lets you know you did the right thing. It's the kind words that are said when you least expect them. It's the gentle touch that says, I'll catch when you fall. It's the moment where time stands still and allows you to embrace who you are, when you least expect it. It is found in the simple gift of giving yourself to others. This may be the profoundist existence of all. If you grasp life and give of yourself, selflessly, your existence seems to shine...not only before man, but before God.

Breathe

The world uncovers my soul , allowing me to question who I am, and what place I hold in this life. More often, than not, I relinquish myself to the notion that God created me for a greater purpose than I can possibly see. He carries me through all the trials and tribulations that I encounter.

Truth be known...that I am a miracle on this earth. I should have never lived through the first nine years of my life, but by the grace and mercy of our loving God he gave me every breath to breathe...literally.

Many know my story, but I thought I would share it again. When I entered this world I was grayish/blue in color. The doctors and nurses were at my side and ran many tests on me to figure out what the actual problem was. At the time I was rushed to another hospital to run more tests . Finally, doctors concluded that I wasn't born with a pulmonary valve. This is the valve that pumps the blood to the rest of the body. Instead I had a hole in my heart that did the work for this missing valve. I walked nine years on this earth until I had a major open heart surgery. My family and the doctors had faith that I would survive until an adult valve could be placed within my heart. This was a huge decision and one that clearly shows the miraculous gift of life. I don't think that I should be here...and each day I face truly is a gift from above.

I have physical scar from the surgery that stays with me everyday. When I look at this scar...I see God's provision and care written all over my life. The very breath of life that He gives...I breathed.

The deeper blessing in life is just simply allowing Him to breathe for us, when we can't breathe for ourselves.

Inevitable Pressure

As one becomes older, life inevitably becomes harder. Life happens and the pressures of adulthood weigh us down. I have fully taken a plunge in recent months and fully support myself. This is the second time in my life that I have taken on all the bills to survive in this life. The first time was a about five years ago. After two years of struggling, I concluded that school may need to be an accomplished goal before embarking myself into the complicatedness of life.

So, it's almost been a year since I graduated. I have taken on myself and the life I wanted to lead; embracing the life of somewhat of different caliber. Now I am not a materialistic person...but I do like nice, expensive things...but everything in moderation, right? So I found myself saying no to some things that I never would have questioned buying some years ago. It's frustrating and almost depressing really, that I am currently saving money for a future that I can't even see.

However, the life that becomes harder allows our wisdom to gain further knowledge and helps adulthood make a little more since. After all, I think that true adulthood, is a very sacrificial part of life. Especially parenthood. There is an invetable pressure of adulthood profoundly found through the singleness of one, who is trying to give back to a future that is totally hidden.

Enduring Fear

There comes a time in life that one has to face a giant or a fear. Sometimes we have to lay down every bit of our pride and just simply stand and say who we are. It takes gumption to release yourself to the lights of the unknown and to be at peace with the fact of knowing one did the right thing. For me, doing the right thing is always perplexing. I tend to be skeptical of life and love. Ironically, I don't really have reason to feel this way. I was raised in a very loving home and given answers to life's questions in the simplest forms. When did life become so complicated, leaving me with many questions that surround me today?

I remember my freshman year of school. I entered a Unviersity that I thought would carry me through for four years. I would walk that stage and have a degree with vocal performance as my major. That was clearly not the road that I was supposed to take. For there was a different path for me. A path that if I knew now what I didn't know then...wouldn't have been traveled. However, with God's strength, faith, and hope I muddled my way through and accepted the fact that He had different plans than I did.

Thoughts ran through my head...of would I ever get it right? See the light at the end of the tunnel and know that I survived because of His unshakable love for me. Through the hardship and fire He spoke gently to me...carrying me through. Giving me strength to walk the path that was presented to me.

Many dangers and fears came with this road, causing me to hesitate and question truth's that I believed. I found myself on the waves of rushing tides that wanted to pull me under. I fought a battle that Satan clearly wanted me to fail. However, when you face the giant in this world that enables every inch of your being to cling to the Father, you somehow feel love through the rain. When the sky lurks a cool ,misty, gray feeling and the sun appears in light of your battle...it is then you know you have obeyed.

Living Life

Voices of fear and doubt,
Create a soul of drought.

Voices of anger and rage,
Create a soul of age.

Voices of generosity and caring,
Create a soul of sharing.

Voices of agony and pain,
Create a soul of shame.

Voices of laughing and singing,
Create a soul of believing.

Voices of sights and sounds,
Create a soul of living life.

Lemonade

In the words of a good friend... "Get it together, and stop sipping on your lemonade." This is a quote that she said to me my second semester of my Junior year. I remember, where I was standing on the campus when she stated this to me so emphatically. Her intensity in that moment has never left me. The consequences of not pursuing action to her implied notions still remain in my heart today.

Since time has passed, I try to live out this quote with new heights on the horizon. I have tried to take these words and write them on my heart for another reason, other than the moment she was implying me to grasp. Admist life, there will be struggle, there will be battles left unconquered, with a victory of untold answers. Out of the muck and mire, one will spring forth with great hope of what is to come; and know that one has it together and can still sip on lemonade.

The Battle

There is a battle in my head that never ends,
And sends me into an oblivion.

There is a battle in my heart,
That I am not sure how to start.

There is a battle in my mind.
Why is it such a crime?

There is a battle in my soul,
With truth's left untold.

There is a battle that I can't escape,
That causes me to hesitate.

There is a battle that I need to face.
How can I run such race?

There is battle with time to subside,
Just give me the cue to turn the tide.

There is hope admidst the battle,
That let's the beauty of life unravel.

Sharpening Iron

In the past couple of days I have been contemplating how iron sharpening iron affects us in our everyday lives. Several years ago, I had a conversation about this with a close friend. We always encouraged the other to have an Iron sharpening Iron relationship with those that God put in our path. One of the things that we discussed in this conversation was that Iron Sharpening Iron...is represented in Marriage. I remember our many discussions on this thought and verse, however, last night it really hit me...Iron sharpens Iron. If we are focused on those we love and those that are presented to us among the paths that we walk, we are in some way sharpening ourselves...that is allowing us to give so much more back to those whom we love.

The last few years of my life...have been living out Iron Sharpening Iron. Maybe I walked everything to be apart of the iron sharpening iron process. Who really knows, but I do know that because someone lived their life this way...it gave me sharper iron to keep going.

Thank you my friend...Oh how I still miss you and how the memories never leave me, nor the wisdom that you instilled in me to live out. You were and still are a treasure from the Lord. Thank you for giving me Iron to sharpen Iron!

Turn the Page

The other day this song started playing and it drew me back to certain moments in time. Funny how the song didn't pertain to anything that was happening in that moment, yet reminded me of the truth of a situation several years ago. Oh how funny it is...how we grow and mature and yet music can speak to apart of the soul that hasn't yet healed.


Turn the Page
Chantal Kreviazuk:

I'm out here on my own
Please pick up the phone
I'm hiding from the morning
Inside the dead of night
You left without a warning
You left me here behind
And I'm deep inside my soul
But I can't find my way back home
I'm hiding from the moment
That's never far behind
Hiding from the moment
That makes everything alright

I run, run away from
But can't turn the page
I knew it all along
You never try to change
I run, run away from
But can't turn the page
I knew it all along
You never try to change

Now I'm floating endlessly
Unpacking all my dreams
Funny how we hurry
To hold the hands of time
Funny how we worry
We cant control this life.

I run, run away from
But can't turn the page
I knew it all along
You never try to change
I run, run away from
But can't turn the page
I knew it all along
You never try to change.

Oh the Life

So often in life, I don't do what I desire. I find myself not grasping opportunities that I possibly should have, that leave me questioning the reasons for living through the circumstances. In the last few years, life has brought me some hardship that has been remembered by: regret, loss, pain, and frustration. Admidst all of the hardship: it left me seeking for Contentment and Peace in this life. Wanting to live with Passion and know that there is a greater purpose for all that I face.

In the course of growing up, I have had many stages of happiness and love for life...but truthfully in recent years I have found myself perplexed with tradgedy beyond my comprehension. At times my hope failed and faith wasn't a question of my heart. I sometimes found myself in an utter oblivion of hopelessness. It was in those moments that I knew the struggles were worth living through. To overcome...to embrace the struggles as apart of life and find that meaning was bound to surrender and that I would gain such empowerment for walking the dark and trecherous road.

College (all 5 years) taught me how to embrace this life. The moments for today. Though it has been a hard road, and one that could have been a lot less traveled, I know that I have gained some sort of empowerment through each year that brought such enduring hardships. Going to two schools, led me through an array of different colors on my palet. It forced me to gain sense of these moments and mature through the trudges. The first two definitely empowered me to walk the last three years and gave me hope to endure. The last three years shaped much of who I am today.

Contentment and Peace were something that were vastly searched for in each experience. I kept thinking that if I have contentment and peace through the fire, that one day I would have contentment and peace through the happiness. I don't know why God chose me to walk such an enduring road...but He did. Through those times of struggles my hope in God had to surrender, and obedience was key. I know that one day I will have contentment and peace through happiness in this life...and I find hope through knowing that He will see me through.

This poem by Charlotte Bronte has touched my soul in recent years...My prayer is that it touches yours as well.

Charlotte Bronte:

LIFE, believe, is not a dream
So dark as sages say;
Oft a little morning rain
Foretells a pleasant day.
Sometimes there are clouds of gloom,
But these are transient all;
If the shower will make the roses bloom,
O why lament its fall ?

Rapidly, merrily,
Life's sunny hours flit by,
Gratefully, cheerily,
Enjoy them as they fly !

What though Death at times steps in
And calls our Best away ?
What though sorrow seems to win,
O'er hope, a heavy sway ?
Yet hope again elastic springs,
Unconquered, though she fell;
Still buoyant are her golden wings,
Still strong to bear us well.
Manfully, fearlessly,
The day of trial bear,
For gloriously, victoriously,
Can courage quell despair !

Silence of the Soul

Silence is something that I have been doing a little bit of research on lately. Why is it that we tend to silence our souls in moments that we should be letting our souls do the talking? For me, I know that I have been in many situations where I should have grasped a moment and not allowed my silence to abandon my soul. I believe that at one time or another we have all felt in our hearts that we were to embrace a specific purposeful moment, yet so often we may have silenced ourselves for reasons unknown. I have found myself contemplating the true reason for silence in specific situations that have arised in my life recently. There are moments that I know my soul wanted to speak up and testify the truth...but at other times I felt as if silence had to see me through the circumstance. I don't know why the soul had to be silenced the way that it was, but I do know that the stillness and tranquility that my soul found through the silence was the depth and meaning behind the hidden treasure. Along life's paths we all find moments of where we must silence the soul from speaking to gain a better understanding of what is being played out. It is there within those moments that the soul finds true happiness and eventually allows the silence to release for the soul to speak.


I don't know what each of you are facing currently in your life...but I believe that if silence is keeping you from following your heart, you should allow the soul speak the truth. No matter what situation one faces the soul knows the truth.


This quote that I found through my research inspired this blog...I hope that it touches your heart in a profound way...and allows you to figure out what silences your soul. Be blessed my dear friends!!!


SILENCE..... " Stillness is the tranquility of the inner life, the quiet at the depths of it's hidden treasure. It is a collected total prescence, a being there, receptive, alert, ready...It is when the soul abandons the restlessness of purposeful activity." ~Eugene Hemrick~