What to do with a life that is continuously spinning...
No matter how the dice lands it seems that life keeps on going even if for a brief moment you just need to breathe. To have the spinning stop so that the circular movement can reach you in a straight line.
Nothing can be simple and faith is grown in chaos. I am not sure what part of life I am spinning in now...it just won't stop and let me take it in. I want to enjoy the moments that make smile...I want this life to make sense.
I want my heart to find the desires that it longs to embrace. I want to be happy...genuinely happy. I am tired and weary and at times wonder if this is all worth it...waiting, wishing, and hoping....for the life that I wish was before me. The life that seems to have fallen into the path of many others. I don't understand the reasons for my path...I wish clarity would scream and capture my heart. I wish the shutter slide moments would catch up to lens of my eye. I wish that time would stop and in that moment I would feel a rush of wind and sense beauty in a way that I have never experienced it before. I wish the life of spinning would create a magical sensation that would allow my spirit to fly. I wish that the movement of this spinning cyclone would transition me into another world.
At times I think that life could have collapsed and things would still keep spinning. I need a moment where I can stand still and feel the wind on my face...instead of always at my back. I need a break...something that clearly states...the spinning has a fate...
Friday, November 21, 2008
Monday, November 3, 2008
I See Moments...
People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built.
~ Eleanor Roosevelt
Honestly, change has been all around the last few years. I have been truly searching why so much change has occurred within my life. The questions constitute daily within my heart and mind. I wonder what is it that I am being taught. Why must the pain afflict upon my spirit so often and leave me alone. I am not sure why life has gravitated toward me the way that it has, but there have been moments when I reflect upon the magic of it all...I see a change...that was brought about to form who I am and for me to believe in the person I have become. I see moments of destiny along the path...and moments of true friendship. I see moments of purpose...I see moments of enlightening truth...I see moments of courage...I see moments of honesty...I see moments of becoming...I see moments of loss...I see moments of validity...and then there are moments where I see myself. Who I have become...what my character represents. It's a question that sparked many years ago...and left me wondering when I would look at myself and see the character that I possess. I am not sure why right now in this moment...life is changing...as I know...it has changed. Everything that happened to make me question everything that I was...was nothing the but the mere affect of me learning who I am...what my character represents. Along the way...there were people predestined within this path to allow me to embrace the character that was masked. I know that there are ones who were touched by the grace of God among that path. I am grateful for those moments of genuineness. It has been a journey...one that only could be written by a hand so much greater than my own...He created my character...gave me hope...and is writing me a story...in it all...I found me....my character. When I imagine the bright star shining...and life simply fading...I grasp those moments...where my character was a being molded and refined for the beauty to reflect in others.
What a journey...lives touched...moments embraced without reasoning...life questioned....all to show me...that the change...was all about shaping who I am and giving my character purpose to shine.
~ Eleanor Roosevelt
Honestly, change has been all around the last few years. I have been truly searching why so much change has occurred within my life. The questions constitute daily within my heart and mind. I wonder what is it that I am being taught. Why must the pain afflict upon my spirit so often and leave me alone. I am not sure why life has gravitated toward me the way that it has, but there have been moments when I reflect upon the magic of it all...I see a change...that was brought about to form who I am and for me to believe in the person I have become. I see moments of destiny along the path...and moments of true friendship. I see moments of purpose...I see moments of enlightening truth...I see moments of courage...I see moments of honesty...I see moments of becoming...I see moments of loss...I see moments of validity...and then there are moments where I see myself. Who I have become...what my character represents. It's a question that sparked many years ago...and left me wondering when I would look at myself and see the character that I possess. I am not sure why right now in this moment...life is changing...as I know...it has changed. Everything that happened to make me question everything that I was...was nothing the but the mere affect of me learning who I am...what my character represents. Along the way...there were people predestined within this path to allow me to embrace the character that was masked. I know that there are ones who were touched by the grace of God among that path. I am grateful for those moments of genuineness. It has been a journey...one that only could be written by a hand so much greater than my own...He created my character...gave me hope...and is writing me a story...in it all...I found me....my character. When I imagine the bright star shining...and life simply fading...I grasp those moments...where my character was a being molded and refined for the beauty to reflect in others.
What a journey...lives touched...moments embraced without reasoning...life questioned....all to show me...that the change...was all about shaping who I am and giving my character purpose to shine.
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