not even a blue-print //

I stand at the brink of the shore and I look across the vast ocean and wonder...I wonder what purpose was this journey...why did I have to be the one to walk it...and why did I have to be the one to walk away...// All I ever wanted was truth. I came to the city with little expectation...just a girl who wanted to make a better life for herself...work hard...and be successful. In the midst of that experience...there were many lessons learned...both personally and professionally that I will forever carry with me. If I could sum up the last five years in a sentence it would be this: Without hardship there can be no vicotry. All I desire at this point is a victorious miracle...a miracle that only He can give me. I don't have clue what it looks like, where it comes from, or even where it's leading me. For the first time ever: I don't have plan...I don't even have a blue print to a plan. I have hopes and dreams that I would love to see come to past in my lifetime...and all I can say in this moment: is everything is HIS. Whatever He wants He can have and whatever He wants to do He can do. I am fully surrendered to a God who will fulfill his purpose for me. I have so many questions that are left unanswered. I am learning that it's ok - I just have to have faith and that one day those answers will be revealed. I don't know why He chose me and moved mountains to even get me here...but He did...I don't know why He chose me to walk thru these experiences of trials...but He knows... and I really don't understand why on earth I have to be the one to walk away...but He understands...//

fighting with hope //

Everyday is a new day, bringing forth new battles to face, and new hopes to embrace. I am reminded that we all face battles in our day to day worlds. It's how we fight that strengthens our inner core and brings forth a royal victory. Before every battle we have to past tests and often times this tests are reflective of the battle that is ahead. When we look back on our lives and the tests that we clearly passed, we often realize that this was us being trained...trained to fight the good fight...to fight the battle of the future. How we handle our test in that moment, absolutely reflects how we will fight the battle in the future. I am reminded of Joshua. Joshua walked seven times around Jericho, praying that those walls would fall...if he had only walked around Jericho six times, he would not have seen the faithfulness of God. We often times forfiet our own miracle because we don't pray it through. We must be faithful to see His faithfulness. I am learning that there are battles that truly don't matter and others that absolutely, without a doubt do. They are apart of building our character to be a Christ- like image of who HE is and His unwavering love. I have learned that these battles that matter, cause us to throw caution to the wind, and stand silently in prayer. It's to build us to be men and women of prayer. He uses our weakness to allow His strength to shine. It all comes down to fighting with hope, knowing that if we fail, He is still faithful and still loves us. The victory is His...and He wants all the glory. He will fight for you...and on your behalf...He will make all things new-The noon day sun will appear and His glory will shine for all to see. Even when God tells the wind to blow...it obeys...//