the dark hole....//

Beauty rides in the sun and awakes in the dark. Darkness takes over the sun and leaves a mysterious dim light- What did we do? Where did we go? When and how did we get there? These are often the questions asked when one deals with some sort of depression. It's as if one is a dark tunnel and can't see a hint of light at all. Pitch black- Ever been there? Ever experienced a moment of pure sadness? Sadness that has crepted into your soul and haunted you? Well let me tell you - a true/genuine story about a real girl- who fought a battle for a long time- but didn't even know she was fighting: depression. It's a good life that she leads: she has a family: ones who love her and would be there for her at any moment of the day or night. No hard trauma in her life: sure there were disappointments in every year of her life, and things that yes didn't go her way. To the person looking in : you would think: she had it all. She had success in the greatest sense of the word...she had a good job that she was often thankful for, but often times regretted she had. She had friends and family whom she often socialized with daily. Never letting on the true emotions she had inside. You see, she didn't know that what she felt was normal-- normal in the way that depression feels. This same girl: would often times cry herself to sleep and often times didn't want to get up to face each day. Each day that was a gift-- with new surprises and opportunities for her to embrace. She was so far in a dark, destrought hole of her own disappointments that she couldn't find strength to embrace her own life. Sure, she lived her own life, had her own success, and held it all together for those she loved, but didn't feel the worth of herself within her own heart...that it took only moments for those who met her to experience. This same girl: helped others who had much of same problem as she did, however the words she spoke as encouragement, that she so beleived for those people: She didn't believe those same words for her ownself. One day this girl woke up and said: it's a new dawn, it's a new day, and it's a new life for me! She went thru much counseling and support at this time in her life- to get to that point---a few months and several doses of some good medication-- may have helped her....but nonetheless she got the point- She got who she was- where she wanted to go- who she wanted to be-- and most of all what she wanted her own life to reflect. This journey was one of the darkest and most lonely paths she had ever walked. She walked it faithfully- didn't even know she was battling the same thing as most of those around her- and yet was able to help and inspire some great people to achieve some grand goals in their own lives. That was truthfully the grace and mercy of the Lord working thru her spirit! Cause what her Spirit felt--- couldn't have possibly helped those people. As this girl began to understand her battle of depression: she realized that there was a greater story behind it all: her story: the story of her life-- the story that would touch and help others-- by an experience that she could barely work thru on her own terms. She realized that though she had dealt with very dark and dreary days: there was light to be seen, life to be lived, love to be felt, and joy to be embraced. This girl found the joy and the happiness that she had daily experienced at one point in her life- but had been so struck by the dark...that she had forgotten what it was like to see light! To live life, to embrace moments, to feel and accept love, and most of all to express the true joy of her soul. My friends and family: this story is me! One usually can't just sit down and express their feelings so blatenly- but I can tell you- this girl can- and this girl will- This girl wants others to embrace who they are, and be able to exprience the life that they are meant to lead...thru joy, and happiness. The true/ genuine feeling of joy and happiness comes no other way but thru the Grace and Mercy of our Lord- There is a pure sense of life when one sees the light for the very first time after being in the very dark hole of depression. If you haven't experienced depression at some point in your life: you are very blessed individual! And to those who have: know exactly what I am talking about! And to those who I hope don't have to walk that road, but might end up there- and not even know it, like I did, it is my hope and prayer that you make it out---by striving and knowing that you will indeed see the light again! For you will-- and when you do-- Grace and Mercy will take you by each hand and pull you out of the dark and treacherous hole! Keep walking and may the experience of dark hole of depression, lead you to the greatest light that shines hope, faith and love in your life! For the beauty of life is where the sun shines out of the dark! Blessings to each of you who I have read thus far! :)